that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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