I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize