Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
