I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
