Sponge bath it is.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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