at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
