Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
