i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
