oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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