She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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