my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
