somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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