would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
