What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
