my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
