I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
