let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
