listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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