I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
