Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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