yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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