the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
