Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm at about main and main street
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
