brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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