she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
