you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
