found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
