If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
