Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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