i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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