i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
