It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
