we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
