dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
