The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
