Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
