I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize