I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You are a genius and a whore.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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