how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize