Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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