How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
