hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The beer is more important than you right now.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
