maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
don't judge my taste in strippers
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
