alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
