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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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