The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
