Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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