she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
