I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
