Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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