when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Randomize
