Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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