Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
