I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize