do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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