She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
