i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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