You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm just crazy horny about you
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
