Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
